Are you a team player, willing to offer your help when asked upon? If you are, chances are that you’re also a woman. The problem is that this selfless behavior may be stunting your growth up the corporate ladder. Deeply held gender stereotypes that men are ambitious and results-oriented, while women are nurturing and communal, also apply to the workplace. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and the founder of LeanIn.org, and Adam Grant, a professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania as well as the author of “Give and Take,” addressed this issue in the third of their four-part series on women in the workplace that’s running in The New York Times.

Consider a recent study led by New York University psychologist Madeline Heilman. Participants evaluated the performance of a male or female employee who did or did not stay late to help colleagues prepare for an important meeting. For staying late and helping, a man was rated 14 percent more favorably than a woman. When both declined, a woman was rated 12 percent lower than a man. Repeatedly, after giving identical help, a man was significantly more likely to be recommended for promotions, important projects, raises and bonuses. A woman had to help just to get the same rating as a man who didn’t help.

Harvard professor Rosabeth Moss Kanter observed that women do the lion’s share of “office housework” — i.e., administrative tasks that help but don’t pay off. Tasks such as taking notes at meetings, volunteering for committees and planning meetings typically fall to women. These tasks not only take up valuable time, they also cause women to miss opportunities.

Helping in Anonymity
Studies have found that men are more likely to help with visible behaviors (e.g., attending an optional meeting) while women offer assistance with more time-consuming activities (e.g., mentoring colleagues). While a “helping” culture has been proven beneficial to the overall health of a business — greater profits, sales, revenues, customer satisfaction — it can take a psychological toll on those doing most of the helping (i.e., women).

In an analysis of 183 different studies spanning 15 countries and dozens of occupations, women were significantly more likely to feel emotionally exhausted. Furthermore, for every 1,000 people at work, 80 more women than men burn out, the result of them helping others before helping themselves.

A Shift in Philosophy
The first step in correcting a problem is acknowledging there is one in the first place, Sandberg and Grant wrote. Businesses need to evenly distribute and value office housework. Track employees’ acts of helping as well as their individual accomplishments. Assigning communal tasks evenly rather than relying on volunteers ensures that support work is shared, noticed and valued.

Sandberg and Grant stressed that women also need to make necessary changes, the most important of which is a shift in mind-set. In order to properly care for others, you need to take care of yourself first. Numerous studies show that both women and men achieve the highest performance and experience the lowest burnout when they prioritize their own needs along with the needs of others. By putting self-concern on par with concern for others, women may feel less altruistic, but they’re able to gain more influence and sustain more energy. Ultimately, they can actually give more.